Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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