I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
