she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Found the puke drawer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
