How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
