I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
