i need an iv and a liver transplant
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
