don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize