I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that