Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now