So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.