I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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