I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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