garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
