Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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