Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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