Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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