I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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