i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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