Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
