I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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