What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize