my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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