Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
