I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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