Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
