We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
