i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
