when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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