When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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