remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
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