Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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