My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think my moral compass just broke
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