Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize