Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
