Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
