'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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