I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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