So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
