Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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