Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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