Kiss
Puke
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
