one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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