Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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