I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
