Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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