we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
