That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I yelled at your uterus for you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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