so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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