My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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