i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
