I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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