i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
