This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
