Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
