I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
