Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
