I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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