I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
