So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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