ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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