there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I will pee on everything he values.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
