Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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