He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
