You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
