her vagine was all disorganized.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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