We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
