ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
