i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
