butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
