but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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