Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
