Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
